Thud
by Myushii
Summary: Pein can't control his members, Itachi has a strange attachment to Sakura, Kisame's a pervert, and Tobi is strangely reclusive. In Thud. Sakura is an Akatsuki member with her cousin Sasori. What will happen when they are graced with unexpected guests? Or when they are then dragged along on an unexpected journey? ItaSaku to happen soon and slight SasoDei.


**As a fanfiction writer, I do not believe you should have to keep every one in character all the time, hence most of the characters in this story being OOC, but not enough to make them completely unrecognisable. I apologise in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors as it is my own proof reading because my computer is hopeless, this has now been edited since yesterday when it was posted. I realised my mistake with the Itachi scene's, as it was midnight when I was going over editing, this has now been fixed. The only person who has first person perspective is Sakura, and in Deidara's flashback :) Enjoy the first chapter of Thud.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own the song "Black Betty"- Spiderbait.

I sighed as I threw down the senbon I was using to remove the lint from the arms of another of my cloaks, and proceeded to run my hand through my long pink hair in frustration. I let loose some chakra, laced with killing intent in the direction of the blue assed, knucle brain, who's room happened to be next to mine.

Why the fuck am I so frustrated with having lint on my nice black, clean Akatsuki robe you may ask? I mean, it's lint, so what right? It's not like it never happens or any thing. No. Not even. That fat, motherfucking _fish_ decided it would be _funny_to put a damn bath towel in with most of my robes, hence me being incredibly frustrated at having to clean lint off of every. Single. One.

I stood up slowly from the cherry blossom themed vanity dresser and hung my uniform up in the walk in wardrobe, and then strolled down the deep purple, brightly lit hallway to the kitchen. Apparently the giant fish man had decided it was feeding time too, I glared daggers at an overly smug looking Kisame Hoshigaki, who was currently leaning against the black polished kitchen top, eating the last of the dango.

"Uniform all clean then, Kitten?" He asked with a flash of sharp pointy teeth, a malicious glint passing through a beady black iris. I barely managed to restrain myself from shouting at him, and instead ground out, "Fish face." In response.  
"You know you really should have learnt by now not to put towels in with your robes," He mused with a smirk, "it leaves them all... linty." The smirk had turned in to the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen on an S-class criminal. Kisame's grin soon evaporated as I gave him a malicious smirk of my own.

Itachi's focus turned quickly to the loud, destructive noises emerging from the kitchen, realisation dawned, and he rolled his eyes inwardly. His partner really never would learn, and Itachi was less than surprised that the pink haired kunochi was beating Kisame to a pulp. Again. Pein was going to burst a blood vessel over this. Itachi smirked to himself as he entered the kitchen, which then grew wider when he finally saw the extent of the damage Sakura had caused.  
"Sakura." Itachi said in an amused tone. Said kunochi whipped herself around to face him, though not before launching Kisame through the kitchen wall and in to the living room television on the other side of the next room. Oh Pein would definitely burst a blood vessel, and it would probably be the one on his forehead that bulged out really far when ever he got angry. Itachi smirked at Sakura as she sighed. "He did it _again_, Itachi." She stated bluntly.

-

"KAMI-SAMA FUCKING DAMN IT, SAKURA!" Pein yelled, I watched him breathe in and out a few times, one of the calming techniques I recognised from Konan's teachings. "All repair expenses will come out of your pay, and if you _ever_destroy one of my mansions again, I will put chakra supressors on you, and lock you and your cousin in the dungeons for a month with your only company being Tobi." He seethed, his anger purely radiating off him and bouncing around the room.

"But Leader-sama.." I whined. If looks could kill, Pein would have killed me a thousand times over. "Kisame put a towel in with my uniform _again_, and this isn't even the first time he's done it, oh no, this is the third time in a _month,_ and he..." I trailed off. "I am well aware of that, Sakura." Pein ground out.  
"Then maybe it would be an idea to lessen the punishment, Nagato." Konana spoke from the shadows, she then drifted forward in to the light, and placed a hand on Peins shoulder, "Kisame will pay half." She informed me. Leader-sama sighed in response and dragged his hand across his face, knowing that there would be no arguing with his fiancé. "Thank you Sakura-san, you may leave." Konan smiled, I bowed towards the pair, "Thank you Konan-sama, for your generosity. Leader-sama."

-

Sasori turned to me, "Cousin, you really must stop letting Kisame get to you." I sighed and dropped my head, "I know Sasori-kun, but it's not my fault he's an asshole." Deidara snickered towards us, as he was sprawled over an awfully comfortable looking black leather recliner, "You're lucky Kakuzu isn't here, Kitten un, he would have made you and Kisame clean up your mess with tweezers, yeah." I jumped over the back of the matching black leather couch and crossed my legs, looking curiously at the extravagantly large, shiny new television. "What are we playing, Blondie?" I asked, reaching for a controller.

-

I grimaced at the pinkettes nickname for me, but it still wasn't as bad as Hidan calling me Barbie. I gulped and tried to push the horrific memory back to the recesses of my brain. 'Fuck' I thought as that night came back in a full vivid force.  
_Flashback  
Hidan was drunk and standing in the living room with his rock music up full noise, I walked in to find him singing completely out of tune to some song that involved the words '_black betty' _and '_bam ba lam' _I couldn't decipher much more at that stage since Hidan only mumbled the rest of the actual lyrics and only joined in to sing those two lines with excessively loud. Next thing I know, Hidan's behind be with his hands on my hips, not so subtley hitting on me, "Hey Barbie girl, you're looking gorgeous," he paused to sniff my hair, "how 'bout you an' me go back to my room and get a little freaky, hmm? I'd like to..."_  
The memory trailed off and I shuddered as I once again supressed it, before Hidan could describe, in detail, what he'd like to do with "Barbie". "Halo 4, un." I said in response to Sakura who had begun to watch me strangely, until I started up the game in the hopes of millions of hours of television and gaming causing me some severe, long term memory loss.

-

Kakuzu was using his tendrils to stitch Hidan's right arm back on to his torso when he heard Hidan groan, "You'd better not be getting off on this, you masochistic bastard." Kakuzu seethed.  
"Of course I'm fucking not, you demented old man." Hidan screeched, and not long after swore even louder as his immortal body started to regenerate the damaged cartliage. "Shut the fucking hell up, you idiot." Kakuzu whispered fiercely. Neither of the zombie brothers could believe how badly their recent assassination mission just went, there would be hell to pay when Pein found out. Sure they had killed there target, but the whole idea of assassinating someone generally involves stealth and no loose ends, and _not_ having around fifty grass ANBU hot on your ass. Deidara would have done a stealthier job just blowing up half of Kusagakure than what the two achieved tonight.

-

"Nononononononononono. Fuck. Damnit. NOOO!" Pein sweat dropped at the sound of hearing Sakura's screaming, and the distinct blasts from plasma guns. "Shoot him, un!"  
"I'm fucking trying!"  
"Don't yell at me, yeah! You're the one that's getting us killed, un!"  
"I'M NOT FUCKING YELLING!"  
Pein was seriously considering recruiting new members to replace these two, at least Tobi was good for something. Maybe he would just beat the pair in to a bloody pulp. Pein sighed and walked in to the still destroyed living room, ready to put the two in to line, but some one else got there first.

"Shouldn't you two be doing something other than playing video games?" Itachi's monotone voice rung out to the door way where Pein was standing.  
"I agree. Sakura, you two have been playing that for _three_ days, and it's sunny today, why don't you do some sparring?" Sasori added from the kitchen, since the wall was still missing where Sakura launched Kisame through.  
"What I good idea Sasori. Sakura and Deidara out side for sparring. NOW!" He ordered. The pair that was previously glued to their game jumped out of their skins at the sound of Pein's voice, Kisame snickered at the two, but it was quickly transformed in to a whining groan as Pein added, "Good, Kisame and Itachi will accompany you." The four nins trudged out the door, with the exception of Itachi. Uchiha's _never_trudge. "Shrimp Tempura Leader-sama?" Sasori offered as he watched him sit down at the breakfast bar in defeat. Pein nodded, at least Sasori was useful.

The earth shook as Itachi watched Sakura throw her fist to the ground and crack the hard soil beneath her, and redirect Deidara's flurry of bombs in to the cracks. He enjoyed watching Sakura fight, and when they sparred she made for a wonderful opponent, the beauty and grace of her movements when she fought never escaped him. Kisame grinned pervertedly next to me, he loved watching Sakura when she trained simply because she always wore tight fitting clothing. Itachi shook his head, Kisame loved to tease the pink haired kunochi, and found it hilarious when some one other than he, was on the receiving end of her brute force.

"Pein's going to have a conniption over this." Itachi stated.  
"I know." Kisame was on the verge of giggling like a school girl, " 'Tachi, your eye's bleeding again." Itachi stared at him in utter horror. "I think you should let Kitten look at it." He said worriedly. Itachi continued to stare at him, not even trying to contain his horrofied expression. He wasn't horrified that his eye was once again bleeding,no. It was the shark man's disgustingly friendly shortening of his name.  
"Kisame..."  
"Hmm?"  
"Please. Refrain from calling me '_Tachi_," Itachi seethed, "or I'll..." His threat was cut off as Sakura let loose a blood curdling scream.

Without hesitation, Kisame and Itachi reached Sakura in an instant, only to find that Zetsu had curled his hand around her ankle, and was now slowly emerging from the ground. "Got your leg!" Zetsu cackled. "Leader-sama's looking for you, cherry blossom," He added nonchalantly, "You know the vein in his forehead that starts protruding from his head every time he wants to murder some one for doing something idiotic is looking rather close to bursting, just thought you ought to know."He snickered as he disappeared underground.

-

"What the actual fuck?" Pein was seething again, and very nearly ready to blow a fuse at Deidara and I, but a crash sounding from the trees at the edge of the clearing we used to train, made him pause. Kakuzu and Hidan appeared on one of the larger boughs of the tree, looking whiter than usual and caked in blood, I heard Pein begin to speak, but he was once again stopped by Hidan, who was trying to hold the two of them upright, begin to collapse, the two tumbled down as we rushed forward in the hopes of reaching them before they hit the ground. Pein and Deidara caught the pair, but only just. "Get them to the infirmary." I ordered as the two still concious males stood, looking at me like stunned mullets, "NOW!" I yelled, and they scrambled to get the zombie brothers to the safety of the infirmary.

**If possible I would love some feed back on my writing, constructive critisicm is always welcome :) I don't expect everyone who reads this to rate or review it, but I would greatly appreciate anyone who does. Au revoir.**


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